Thoughts About Being An Only Child and Traits of Birth Order

I recently discovered I was part of a group of individuals that have something significant in common with each other and, interestingly, this group is made up of some pretty notable people. 

Sharing the singing talents of Elvis or Frank Sinatra would be cool, but that's not what we have in common. 

I don't have the presidential significance of Franklin Roosevelt or the creative genius of Leonardo da Vinci and, without question; I don't have the same funny bone as Robin Williams. 

It's true we are a group of individuals that grew up as only children. 

I just mentioned a small impressive list, but check out this hefty list of other famous only children. Like Betty White, Carol Burnett and Brooke Shields to name a few. 

Only children are, in many cases, the product of economic concerns. Family size has been shrinking since the 1960's and the number of only children has doubled in the last two decades. 

So many myths and stigmas have been attached to an only child. The most common is that only children are spoiled. 

I'll agree that only children may be used to getting all the attention, since they didn't have to compete with other siblings to get noticed. However, I've observed kids from multiple child families that are more spoiled than an only child. 

Coming from personal experience, I can tell you my parents made a point to not spoil me based on this stereotype. However, it is most likely true that only children may have a hard time sharing.

We grew up not having to share food, toys and the like, so therefore, what's ours is ours. Since my dad was the oldest of 5 and my mom the only girl among 3 boys, they were able to find many teachable moments for me as an only child to make sure I didn’t get too comfortable with having everything to myself. Sharing really isn’t the issue...it’s mostly that only children are used to their own space and may be particular to having things a certain way. 

While researching this subject, I read this list of 30 Things Only An Only Child Would Understand. I found I could relate to many of them. 

Thoughts About Being An Only Child

Only children can be extremely loyal friends. We treat close friends like brothers or sisters. It may seem weird to people who have siblings, but I have found myself reaching out to friends hoping to find that family bond connection with them. I try to keep that in check as I don't want them to have that "uncomfortable” feeling or fear that I may show up lurking around their family reunion buffet table. Kidding, I wouldn’t do that! The invitation is in the mail...right?

We prefer to avoid conflict. I didn't grow up with sibling torment, so I’ve never been one interested in arguing. However, my dad and uncles used this as a teachable moment and often riddled me with a little torment to make sure I didn't get off too easy. Afterwards, it’s possible I'd sit quietly alone to plot my revenge.  I believe I did do this!

We don't mind being alone. I never considered this being something that others had trouble with. I grew up doing many things on my own and it wasn't until my adult years that I realized some people are uneasy with being alone. As a kid, I would disappear to my room for hours to listen to music, read or write secrets in my diary. This didn’t seem unusual to me. But, I think my parents worried I was either secretly plotting revenge against them or that I weirdly enjoyed my own company.  It was, most likely, both!

We had imaginary friends. Didn't everyone? Okay, honestly, I don't think I ever named them, but I did find ways to entertain myself by crafting games or coming up with imaginary situations. This explains the time spent in my room – of course...I was entertaining “friends.” Ha!

We are old souls. Only children are used to being in the presence of adults, which may help in developing social and verbal skills at an early age. As a teenager, I always felt comfortable socializing at the kitchen table with my parent’s friends and was always a captive listener. So, it’s not surprising that only children may sometimes be more mature than their peers. Mingling around the kitchen table was where all the fun was happening. And..let’s just say some things can’t be unheard!

Prefer non-competitive activities. I remember never being particularly interested in competitive sports in school. I always wanted to play for fun. If it wasn't going to be fun, I wasn’t interested. I’m sure this goes back to avoiding conflict. There’s a probable chance that only children, myself included, like to be in control and weren’t used to competing with other siblings for attention. Again, my dad made sure I didn’t feel too left out of some competitive rivalry. Stealing bacon from each other’s plate often turned into a competitive ruckus at the table.

The Birth Order Effect - Where Do You Fit In?

After researching the traits of only children, it’s interesting how I have become to understand myself a little better. That means understanding the positive traits along with the ones that are recognized as self-serving. 

If we dig a little deeper, I think everyone could place themselves with certain personality traits based on if they are the oldest, middle, youngest or an only child. 

Sometimes, you’ll find that the oldest child and an only child will have similar personality traits. And, quite often the youngest or the baby of the family may be considered as being babied or receive less discipline than the others.

Click the link to see The Birth Order Effect chart and some of the common personality traits for each.

How about you, do you recognize certain personality traits based on where you fall in birth order?

Are you an only child, can you relate?

I'd love to see your comments below. 😍 

Indulging In the Write Stuff ✍

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One More Thing Before You Go!

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