Is it alright to let your
children make their own mistakes and leap over life’s hurdles on their
own?
Are you too
overprotective?
Not protective enough?
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Image Credit: Pixabay.com parenting and reflection @ asquareofchocolate.com |
I recently saw this on
an oldies movie channel and it is starring Goldie
Hawn, Edward Albert and Eileen
Heckart. The movie made in 1972 was one I hadn’t seen before and seeing a
young Goldie Hawn got my attention. She played her character spot on with a surprising wittiness that made me love her more.

As the visit continues
they bond over music and poetry. Eventually, she finds out he is blind and this
fascinates her more. She makes regular visits until they become more intimate,
which develops into a sweet connection between them. Jill exposes him to
the free-spirited side of life, which is something he’s not experienced
before.
His mother had always
managed to protect him from the world’s discriminations and from people that
would disappoint or take advantage of him.
Later, Don’s mother
would make a surprise visit only to find Jill getting very comfortable in his
apartment with little to nothing on. The mother questions her motives and later
proceeds to make a deal with her to stay away from her son. Her mothering
instincts kick in and, particularly, since Don is blind she has an overwhelming
need to protect him from any relationship that isn’t up to her standards.
As you can imagine
this doesn’t go over well and each of these characters begin to learn some very
valuable life lessons.
CAN PARENTS BE TOO OVERPROTECTIVE?
Overprotective
parenting is a good subject to uncover and it certainly made for a good plot
twist in the movie.
There’s nothing more
special than a mother’s love, but shielding an older child from taking low
risks or experiencing healthy forms of stress that life doles out, won’t help them
to cope later in life. Possibly, doing so could create chronic stress and the
inability to deal with adversity later as adults. An article from Psychology
Today says “Yes, Overprotective Parenting Harms Kids.”
As a mother of two
young adults, I know how it feels to want all good things for my kids. We want
to spare them from hurt, pain and the unfairness of life. However, when I look
back at my own younger years, I realize making those early mistakes, working it
out and solving my own problems helped me grow into a confident and independent
adult.
Actually, it’s something
we’re constantly working on our entire life and it’s good to get a handle on
this as early in life as we can. Teaching children at an early age to
tackle small and simple dilemmas can help them later in life when those
dilemmas are bigger or more serious.
This article, Don’t Smother Your Adult Children! Let Them Find Their Own Way Forward discusses the overprotective parent or
“helicopter parent” and some of the symptoms and examples to watch for.
A LITTLE DANGER IS A GOOD THING
In this Ted Talk link "Five dangerous things you should let your kids do" talks about the importance and benefits of kids (even small children) experiencing, playing, but also learning about some potential dangers, so they are better prepared as they grow older. Here are the 5 Gever Tulley discusses.
Some of these you might be saying, what the what?!?! After watching this video, I can bravely say that both my kids did experience all of these "dangers" in their young life. Check out the link and see if you agree with these.
In this Ted Talk link "Five dangerous things you should let your kids do" talks about the importance and benefits of kids (even small children) experiencing, playing, but also learning about some potential dangers, so they are better prepared as they grow older. Here are the 5 Gever Tulley discusses.
Some of these you might be saying, what the what?!?! After watching this video, I can bravely say that both my kids did experience all of these "dangers" in their young life. Check out the link and see if you agree with these.
- Play with fire
- Own a pocket knife
- Throw a spear
- Deconstruct appliances
- Break the DMCA (digital millennium copyright act)
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Image Credit: Pixabay.com |
Of course, it’s good
for parents to always listen and guide when necessary. Goodness sakes, even at
my age, I still go to my mom and dad for advice or a listening ear. And, I fully expect my adult children will do
the same. No question, I’ll be there to
guide and console the best I can. After
that, it’s up to the child to make choices, maybe make mistakes to discover
themselves and learn how to be self-reliant.
At the point when
children reach adult age and enter the world on their own could be the time parents
take an observant backseat and trust.
A MOVIE WITH A TIMELESS MESSAGE
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Image Credit: Pixabay.com |
A MOVIE WITH A TIMELESS MESSAGE
It's so great when you have a classic movie that never goes out of style in the sense of its timeless message and can be relevant to most everyone. Even though it was filmed in 1972, I loved the nostalgia of that time period and I think the younger generation would like it as well.
The movie has humor,
charming innocence, young love and drama throughout the movie. Personally, I
thought Goldie Hawn was perfect for the role of Jill and she captured the
free-spirited character with ease.
I think any parent with young adult children, especially children
with disabilities, could relate to the difficulties and emotions portrayed in
this movie. I like that it expressed each character’s view and they all come
out of it learning about themselves and each other.
Here’s more on the
movie from TCM - Turner Classic Movies
Do you struggle with
letting your butterflies be free?
It's so important for parents to let our young adults make their own mistakes - and it's just as important to be there to help them when they ask for it, in whatever way we are comfortable doing so.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sharon for your reply - I know this is a territory you cover and know well. I couldn't agree more with your statement. :)
DeleteGood read and reminder!
ReplyDeleteThank you Brenda! We're currently in the same boat as we guide our young adults down an independent road. So, happy you stopped by to read.
DeleteWell I haven't heard about this movie thanks to aware me about this movie. I love to watch online movies. I will watch this movie later on Sunday. Thanks for your suggestion.
ReplyDeleteThat’s awesome! You’re welcome.
Delete