Sep 12, 2017

Our Nest is Empty: I'm NOT Naked or Afraid!

There's a T.V. show on cable that's called “Naked and Afraid and I've never understood the fascination with walking around doing every day duties while naked. And, if they're not afraid of being naked then what are they afraid of? I believe their fear comes from being able to survive the wilderness while completely naked and vulnerable to their surroundings. 

No thanks! I’ll take a parka and thigh-high mukluks please.

Sitting bare-butt on a patch of dirt and twigs while creepy crawlies wander around burrowing into any crevice would definitely make me naked and afraid. So, it’s safe to say I wouldn’t put myself in that vulnerable spot of being naked and afraid in the first place.

How does this relate to my survival in the “wilderness of motherhood” and the onset of an empty nest?

That’s right...the kids are gone, now what will I do?

Apparently, the impulse to be naked is more of a guy thing. I don’t know maybe it is for women too, but it seems guys like to take every opportunity they can to disrobe and be leafless.

When our youngest son was preparing to leave for college and our oldest already situated away at college, my hubby announced –  

"Well now we can walk around naked and have free rein of the house!"

Ummm...what is it with guys wanting or needing to walk around the house naked? Is it a caveman stance to be stripped down to their rugged and beefy rawness? Or, is it "I’m the king of my castle" brawniness to lay his “stake” on the land? Maybe, it's more of an animal instinct to flaunt his peacock pride and strut around with certainty that this will attract the female into his love roost.

Whatever the need is to be in the buff or in the raw, Mister O just has to remember not to drop trous in the middle of the living room in full view of the front picture window. Goodness, we don't need to have the whole neighborhood afraid they’ll see more than Christmas balls decorating our tree.

Listen maybe in some places this is totally acceptable, but I'm a Norwegian Lutheran living  in Minnesota where on some winter days it gets 30 below's in my heritage nature to keep all kibbles and bits covered up!

Being a middle-aged woman, this doesn't mean walking around naked and having stuff swinging, slapping or clapping. This Norwegian is now at the stage of age to keep it all strapped up, wrapped up and hoisted up. 

Naked for me is in the bathroom shower or the privacy of the bedroom. I must admit there have been a few topless run-abouts. You know...moments of feeling liberated in a tipsy silliness kind of way. But, I certainly wouldn't ever find the need to prance around the kitchen in the full Monty while preparing Swedish meatballs and noodles for dinner.

Who does that? 

Oh boy! 

So, no, just because the kids are gone I will not be running amuck in all my nakedness. 

And, I'm not afraid of what life will be like now that the kids have grown and flown. 

* Do I miss their presence? Definitely

** Has my mom role changed? For sure

*** Will the grocery bill be cut in half? Absolutely

I will always care for their safety, care that they make good choices and care about their well-being. However, I'm not afraid of where that leaves me. 

While being fully clothed, I’ll approach life just as I did before we had kids. Remember those days? 

It's time to pay more attention to my needs and what sort of future goals I can carve out for myself. I've already made it a point to start doing that a few years ago; knowing this day would come. 

So, I'm not afraid of the changes to come, but rather looking forward to embracing them. Not to mention, being able to watch my kids accomplish their own life goals will be inspirational. 

I won't be afraid to try new things and will concentrate on checking items off the list that I've been delaying. A couple of my favorite midlife bloggers from Cresting the Hill  and Empty House Full Mind have some great suggestions on the 5 Ways To Re-Fill Your Empty Nest  and 12 Things to Love About Being an Empty Nester. Check them out.

Meanwhile, I'll leave Naked and Afraid to the T.V. producers and the people that feel comfortable with their stripped down vulnerability.  I'll remain NOT naked and NOT afraid. 

On the other hand, thinking ahead and just in case, I might put out warning signs in front of the house that reads ~ 
WARNING: Naked 6' 2" Norwegian man may appear in the window. Look away...for cripes sake LOOK AWAY!"

Fess up! How do you feel about being naked and afraid?

Put your smile on and unwrap
   A Square of Chocolate,
Laurie O

One More Thing Before You Go!

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  1. My sons are at college, too. Said college is a 5 minute bus ride from our house. Needless to say, my nest and my grocery bill are still bulging at the seams, sigh. Ah well, at least I'm single and don't have to worry about naked Norwegians rampaging around our house, lmao! Love your post, Txx

    1. Tara, I've definitely noticed a change in the amount of groceries. Actually, that's a nice change, but now I have to pay attention to the other things cookin' in the kitchen. Lol *wink*

  2. Very funny! Glad you are approaching this new phase with gusto!

    1. Thanks Shari. Gusto is a great way to put it! One thing at a time - my mind can be easily overwhelmed.

  3. Leafless!!! I spit out my tea and now have to change blouses. Great laugh Sweetie Thanks! :o) Dee

    1. If I can make someone spit tea, then my day was a success! Thanks Dee :)

  4. Always enjoy your humor! We will be empty nesters next year and I can't wait! I'm a grandma now too, so life is just moving ahead at full speed! Thanks for the laughs! I look forward to reading more! :)

    1. Thank you Shellie! A smile, a giggle or a howl of laughter is what I'm after here. You, too, have many changes coming your way and I'm sure the grandma thing is just fantastic. After your last one leaves the house, there may be a few more surprises in store for you. Just keep the curtains closed...okay?!?!


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