Jun 17, 2015

Cheers To Barstool Advice

It’s a bustling bar energized with people young and old, rear-ends parked on barstools, ice cold beverage in hand and all engaged in conversation.

Next to me was some rousing exchange between some guys over a woman.  

One guy in particular, mentioned when trying to make some relationship headway, there was an interruption to his efforts.  The relationship was failing to move to the next level.

Sometimes the best place to resolve any challenging dilemma is to seek some advice from the people sitting at the bar. 

It makes sense. A lot of life's problems can be easily resolved just by bellying up to the bar to have discussions with friends, any bartender willing to listen, or maybe complete strangers just a barstool away.

It's a common scenario. The T.V. show "Cheers" is well known for their humorous topics tackled while sitting at the bar. To this day, it's still one of my favorite shows.

So, naturally, when Mister O and I were approached at the bar to provide some love connection advice, we were more than willing to jump in and give our two cents. 

This fella, in his late twenties, had been jabbering with his buddies about how he was disturbed that the gal he'd been dating had a pet snake. 

Mister O and I just happened to be a barstool and an earshot away and couldn't help but to get drawn into this reptilian dating drama. 

Turns out he was deathly afraid of snakes. He made this very apparent from the extreme look of fear on his face when explaining the first time he discovered her slithering pet. 

Going over to her house knowing there was a snake taking up residence in her living room, literally caused him to sweat like a guy wearing milkbone underwear at a dog show. 

The guy was more nervous than Norm Peterson being told the bar's beer tap ran dry. 

His reluctance to get cozy with a lady and her snake had him questioning what to do next. 

1. Should he call it quits and say good riddance to her and the snake?

2. Should he give an ultimatum - it's either him or the snake?

3. Should there be a “fatal attraction” moment with a pot of boiling snake soup?

4. Should he try to accept the rodent eating snake and learn to love all 7 feet of it. 

If Cliff Clavin were sitting at the bar, what would he say?

He'd probably babble off a list of statistical facts about Ophidiophobia (a fear of snakes).   

He’d probably say that the fear may be evolutionary, developed by our ancestors as a survival mechanism.  Symptoms may include, but are not limited to, shaking, crying or running away from snakes. You may experience heart palpitations or have difficulty breathing. You may find it difficult or even impossible to remain in the same room as the snake.

Based on these facts, this dude had a full blown case of Ophidiophobia!  

Just like a bar scene from "Cheers," Mister O (aka Norm) told him if she's a loyal snake lover, she'd probably choose the snake over him anyway. He should just move on and spare himself the grief.  Norm likely would have added, “Women. Can’t live with ‘em, pass the beer nuts!”

I, on the other hand, (aka Carla) thought if he really liked this woman, he should face his fears and save any dignity he had left and man-up to the situation or go home. 

Additionally, his buddy (aka Sam Malone) implied that he may be suffering from a fear of "size inadequacy." In comparison to the snake's length, he may be feeling inferior that his manhood didn't measure up.  

Which, by the way he denied. Adding, he had no desire to swing that much footage!

Too bad we didn’t have a posing Dr. Frasier Crane or Woody for this barstool debate. Dr. Crane would have given some psycho analysis explanation for his fears and Woody would've simply asked "what did you say the snake's name was?"

After all this barstool counseling, not sure if this guy took any of our advice. However, it did seem he might be planning to avoid any further snake confrontation. 

One thing is for sure, if you find yourself sitting on a barstool pondering life's questions, you'll probably get some pretty good answers from the friendly characters sitting at the bar. 

Sometimes it’s just nice to take a break from all your worries and maybe even go to a place where everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came! Cheers!

What are your fears or phobias?  How about you pull up a barstool and let's talk about it. 

Put your smile on,
Laurie O

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